Wedding Traditions - UK v. USA

I know I’ve been beating this topic to death recently, but I promise this will be the last mention of weddings… no, really, it will.

I recently came across an infographic showing the differences between American and English weddings.  I hadn’t really thought too much about it while planning my own, I just knew what I wanted and, well, went for it.

Starting at the beginning:

The Engagement:

In the United Kingdom, apparently the average length of an engagement is between 16 months and 2 years.  In America, it’s only 13 to 18 months.  Personally, mine was about 6 or 7 years!  We Brits like to make sure we’ve got it right, I think.  

Just after I was engaged, I was constantly asked “So, when’s the big day?” and I didn’t have an answer.  Just because you’re engaged, in my opinion, doesn’t mean you have to rush off down the aisle.  I’ve worked with people who have been engaged and married within a year.  As soon as that ring passed the knuckle, the cash register started ringing and there was no holding back.  

The Cost:

According to a survey by The Wedding Secret, the average cost of a wedding in England is £21,000 [$27,300].  Quite pricey.  In the USA the average is $32,641.

Note:  This is the average price - I've seen quite a few that have cost a whole lot more!

[I would like take this moment to point out to my hubby that he got a bargain and I am rather thrifty, contrary to what he may believe.]

PRE-PRE-WEDDING

Ahh, the fancy named “Bridal Shower” where basically you invite as many people as you can to your house (or some other lush location) and ask them to bring presents.  Usually, its just women who go to these things.  I’ve never been to one myself, but apparently weird games are played which may involve wrapping the bride-to-be in toilet roll to make a wedding dress.  A bit odd really.  I think it’s just an excuse to get early wedding presents if you ask me.  Hopefully, alcohol is provided, because I couldn’t imagine going to one if there wasn’t.  

I’ve been away from England for too long to know if there is such a thing there, but I’m sure it’s gradually sneaking over.

No, just no!

PRE-WEDDING

UK – The Hen Night

Basically a big 'girl’s night out' which may, or may not, involve loads of alcohol and scantily clad men (aka male strippers).  Also, there may be a pub crawl.  On second thoughts, there will definitely be alcohol.  There will probably be some crying, throwing up and declarations of love to the bride-to-be (and quite possibly to the aforementioned strippers)

Classy English!

USA – The Bachelorette Party

While I’ve never actually been to one, I’ve heard they are quite similar, although pubs aren't really involved.  They get a bit more expensive too as they tend to be at fancy places like wineries (possibly in a limo) and there may also be a whole weekend away.  There also always seems to be a 'theme' and everyone has to dress the same.  The Maid of Honour and bridesmaids have to pay.

Always a bit matchy-matchy

I didn’t have either – although I’m thinking a pub crawl would have been nice, but living in the USA pubs are few and far between and definitely there are not enough to crawl to.

THE CEREMONY

UK

• The groom has his back to the congregation and does not get to watch the bride walk down the aisle, so it's a bit of a surprise when she gets there.
• The bride walks down the aisle before her bridesmaids (otherwise how will someone hold her train?)
• The wedding party (i.e. bridesmaids, etc) sit down with the congregation during the ceremony.

Bridesmaids definitely behind the bride

USA

• The groom faces the congregation so he can watch the bride walk down the aisle and presumably notice if she falls on her face.
• The bride walks down the aisle after the bridesmaids.  (Then who holds the aforementioned train?)
• The wedding party stands for the entire ceremony.

THE RECEPTION

UK

The sit down meal is the main point of the day.  Getting a fancy meal you don’t have to pay for, makes it all worth while.  Not until later, after the speeches are complete and the cake is cut does anyone get up and dance.  I’m wondering if this is, in fact, because nobody wants to make a fool of themselves until they’ve had a couple of glasses of wine?  You know, British reserve and all that.

USA

As soon as the bride and groom enter the dining room, they have to dance.  They don’t even get a chance for a quick swig of champagne.  Everyone has to wait until they’re finished until the meal is served, which tends to be a lot shorter than those in the UK.  Many people actually get up and dance between courses (the cheek of it!).  

THE CAKE

UK

British wedding cakes are traditionally made of fruit cake and are tiered with anything from one tier to pretty much as many as your baker can get to balance.  Three seems to be the magic number though.  Each tier has little pillars holding each layer.  Obviously, butter icing is not a thing.  Nice hard Royal icing holds the shape.  

Very 1970's style

USA

Most American cakes are made of sponge with butter icing (or frosting) and are ‘stacked’ which pretty much means they are just put on top of each other.  Then there’s the awful tradition of feeding each other a piece of cake, which invariably ends up being smooshed into someone’s face.  [see this post here for my views on that malarkey]

Clearly, I am generalizing here and not everyone has a massive wedding, but if you want to go traditional and all out, then you might want to get saving your pennies because wherever you live, it’s going to cost a bob or two.

My wedding was in no way what you would call “traditional” being in Las Vegas, but I did sneak in a little bit of jolly old England.  I changed the wording to the old fashioned Church of England vows which include “love, honour and obey” and you can imagine what reaction I got to that little word. [*smile*].  

I’m just an old fashioned romantic at heart.  

Wedding Planning - Part 2

If you read my post a while ago about the terrible time I’m having planning my wedding, this is a second installment.  If you didn’t read it, here it is.

Anyway, when we left off, I was up to the “Save the Date” part.  They’d gone out and now people think it was the invitation.  Since that time though it’s been pretty much radio silence.  A couple of people left a message on our wedding website [yes, we have one of those too *sigh*] and that’s it.

So what have I been doing, you may ask.  Well, this time around I’m having bridesmaids - I know, its only a Vegas wedding, but still.  My daughter, obviously, is one and so is my sister.  But that left my daughter’s very best friend (who’s like a daughter) having nothing to do, so I made her one too.  The other half wanted his family in the wedding, so now there’s a best man and two grooms men, both his grandchildren.  (Can you see where this is going?)  What about my tiny niece and nephew?  Yup – flower girl and ring bearer… and on it goes.  I’m rethinking that Westminster Abbey reservation as I write…

Of course, I’m supposed to be saving as much money as I can on this wedding – it is not going to be a Charles and Diana affair (oh, there’s the Abbey gone).  So for bridesmaid dresses my daughter suggested going to the Los Angeles garment district where you can buy stuff for cheap, cheap, cheap. Unfortunately, this time of year is Prom time and it looked like this:

It's flippin' pandemonium down there!

Whatever, I used to go to football matches every Saturday, so I’m used to pushing my way through crowds.  *smile*  

Would you believe it, we actually found a dress they liked in record time.  They tried it on, loved the fit and we asked if they had it in the colour we wanted.  “Oh yes, of course we do” they said, “We will order it and you can pick it up” they said.  Hooray you say.  Well, not so… it turns out the person who told us that was not the boss.  “Oh no” said the boss, “they don’t do it in that colour.. how about white?” he said.  Whaaaaa…..!!  Typical – nothing goes right, does it?  The expression ‘Too Good to Be True’ was running through my head.

Not to be discouraged we took the name of the manufacturer, went home and did what any reasonable person would do nowadays – we Googled.  And I only found it on Amazon didn’t I?  But sadly not in the right colour …. And this is where it gets interesting (just in case you were nodding off)

No, I do not want white!

I emailed them, yes they can get it in the colour I want and will make it specially, send the measurements. … so I did (well, one at least).  Turns out they were in China and yes, we’ve all heard the horror stories about beautiful dresses from China looking like rags when they arrive.  Well, after waiting a few weeks the dress turned up and *Drum Roll* it was bloody perfect.  The colour is exactly what I wanted and it fit my daughter like a glove.  Nice one China!

A few texts and email messages later, I got the measurements and gleefully ordered the other two dresses.  Fingers crossed they would get here as quickly as the other one.  And they did – except – and it’s a big except.. they are a DIFFERENT colour!!  Well, that’s a bit dramatic, they are actually a different shade, not a different colour, but at this stage, who’s arguing.  *Cue tears*

So for the last week I have been emailing to China to try and sort it out.  Apparently they no longer have the same colour material they made the first dress out of, not sure how they could have run out so fast, but whatever.  They can make me a new one in the colour of the other two, so let’s see what happens.  

My fingers are crossed, as are my legs, toes and eyes.  I’m going crazy and my daughter’s helpful comment on the whole situation?  “Well, what do you expect when you order from China?”

Thanks, thanks a lot!