6 Sneaky American Words that have fallen into my vocabulary

Good – instead of nice.  I was once asked by a co-worker why I always said food was 'nice' instead of good. I’d never really thought about it before because everything was either nice or horrible. Somehow it’s stuck in my head and now every time, every flippin' time I think food is lovely I say “Ooh, this is good!”  Grrr…..

Dude - A terrible word, but I will admit that I only ever use it in a derogatory manner, usually while driving. i.e. Dude, move your F*cking arse!  or Dude, you drive like an idiot!  [Yes, terribly British]

Cute -  Yes, I know we use this in England, but usually for a puppy or a baby.  In America, it's for just about everything.  "Oh you look cute" people say... what, do I look like a puppy?  "Oh, what a cute car" they say... when you know they really mean wow, your car is tiny, how do you actually get in it??   But again, this one is stuck in my vocabulary.  I try really hard to use a different word but then there's a pause while I'm thinking, which tends to make it sound like "Oh you look...um...cute?" which really is not a compliment, to be honest.

Son of a Gun - Okay, I will admit I hardly ever say this because it's so awful. (And it's more a phrase than a word).  The reason I put it in is because I actually said it, out loud, today!  I was trying to get a packet of crisps out of the vending machine and they got stuck (*sad face*). Of course, my first thought was an expletive but I realized a boss was in the room so obviously I couldn't say what I wanted and went with "Arghh - Son of a Gun!"  I kind of surprised myself and I'm sure my face was a picture when I realized what I'd actually said!

Ladybug - I’m not sure why it’s called a bug, although I suppose technically it is a bug, but that just sounds like it would be a nasty creepy crawly… Ladybird sounds so much nicer, doesn’t it?  But to be honest, it’s not really a bird either is it?

But Ladybug has come into my vocabulary somehow and without thinking, that’s what I always say, but I mostly correct my self straight away.  And I wouldn’t even dream of singing “Ladybug, Ladybug fly away home..”  It’s just not right!

Soccer - I think this is the word that annoys me the most… Ugh… soccer [Actually pronounced in the US as Saaakkkerrr!!]  Pretty much most of the time, when I use this one, I follow up by saying “You know, real football.”  (*grins*)

Does anyone else have a problem with this?  What words annoy you that you can't help saying? Discuss.....

The Real Football Experience

It’s been a long time since I’ve had to get up at the crack of dawn to drive to a pub some 60 miles away to watch a football game.  Nowadays most of the games are on television (well at least on ATT UVerse anyway) so I all need to do is get my morning cuppa and some toast and watch in my pyjamas.  (Because I'm in California the games start at 4:00 a.m. - although it's very rare I ever see those games!  I'm usually just about awake for the 6:00 a.m. ones)

But, whilst watching the footie this past weekend there was an advert for an App so that you can find out where to watch games.  It’s called NBC Sports Matchmaker and I though I would take a look and see what it had to offer.  Apparently, according to the advert and the blurb in the app “Diehard football (soccer) fans know the only thing better than watching football is watching it surrounded by other fans.  But sometimes, finding other fans to watch with can be a challenge…”  [Yes, soccer was in brackets in their description].

That description should have been my firrst warning that this wasn’t for ‘real’ football fans… reading a bit further there is a list about who the app would be helpful for:

• Fans who are new to the game or their neighbourhood and want to know where to watch their team play [If you are new to the game, why would you have a team? – oh wait, it would probably be Man. Utd]
• Fans who are away from home and need to find where other fans are congregating [ok, that makes sense, but ‘congregating” – sounds like there will be trouble]
• Fans who want a way to organize their regular football watching meet up [Umm, wouldn’t you just meet at the pub/bar?] 

Oh and you can meet people through the app and via Facebook.  Something about this sounds pretty pathetic really.  I don't want to be walking into some pub to meet random strangers who may, or may not, possibly, support the same team as me... just so I can have a pint at 8:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning. Because no matter where you go or how many people are there, nothing will emulate the feeling of standing on the terraces (if there were still terraces to stand on, that is).

Years ago, when there was little or no football coverage on the telly, occasionally there would be a pay-per-view game on a Saturday morning.  At that time, everyone we knew would come over to our house and have a whip round for the price of the game.  I would then spend the morning making sausage or bacon sarnies and endless pots of tea (and trying to watch the match).  It was a lot of fun and something that I do miss, although now I don’t even have to get out of bed if I don’t want to.  

But to spend the early morning with random football novice s is just something I wouldn’t ever want to do. So no, I am not downloading this app.  Sorry NBC.

Why USA Will Never Win the World Cup (An Unscientific Study)

 So, it’s 5 days until the World Cup starts and I, for one, am extremely excited.  Maybe this will be the year England will win (or at least not get knocked out on penalties – we can all dream, can’t we?)

I’ve already got my viewing plans mapped out… mostly on my itty-bitty Iphone because during most of the games, I will be sitting at my desk at work.  [Boooo]  I would just like to say right now – Thank you WatchESPN for having an app that I can use and for actually showing the footie.  

All that being said, I’m not sure anyone in America actually knows the World Cup is coming.  I have yet to see any adverts on the telly and none of the shops are showing any interest at all in selling World Cup merchandise.  I took this photo recently in Target (probably one of the biggest chain of shops in the US).  This is their meagre attempt at getting behind Team USA…. Really Target, a couple of shirts, a couple of bags and a Brazil hat??  You do realize don't you there are other countries playing?

It just saddens me that the biggest event in the entire world of sport gets ignored or treated with apathy here.  Yes, the matches are being shown on the tv, but only if you subscribe to ESPN and I had to search for it to find out this information.

So, in the interests of science and world peace, I did a little survey.  Nothing fancy, but definitely a comprehensive study of a cross-section of Americans…. Okay, I sent an email to everyone at work.  I asked the following questions:

1. Do you know what the World Cup is?
2. Do you know when it starts?
3. Do you care?

And the official results are in.  Out of the hundreds of people I asked (well, 19) this is what I got…  and no, they weren’t all girls!

Do you know what the World Cup is?

Well, this was a good start, only one person said they didn’t know what it was.  Most people said “Yes” but they may have just been saying that so they didn’t look silly.  A few people actually got the sport right “Soccer” and one said “Brazil.”  Now don’t get me wrong, Brazil is a good attempt, it is where it’s being played after all, but Brazil is not actually THE World Cup, its the venue!!

Do you know when it starts?

Mostly the answer was “No,” but a few attempts ranging from June (very close), Spring and even August were put out there.  One person said “Yes,” but didn’t attempt to tell me when, so I think that was probably a sneaky “No.”

Do you care?

A pretty resounding “No” on this one… there were a couple of “Not really,” or “Only until US is out” and there was even a “Mehh”

So there it is… America does not care about the World Cup.  And this, my friends, is why the USA will never win.  Just think about it, you're out there putting all your heart into something and at the end of the day, nobody gives a monkey's - a little soul destroying really.  So why bother?

Yes, a long time ago, but at least we've done it once!!

We may all know England are going to begin well, have us on the edges of our seats and then go to penalties... as they do every . single . time . but there's always the possibility that once, just once, we might get it right and win the whole bloody thing.  It's what keeps us going as England fans - it's all about the uncertainty and the what if's and this is something America needs to understand.  Get behind your team, no matter what.  They are, after all, representing your country.  Although I will admit to having a little chuckle every time USA get knocked out!  

The Beautiful Game

For a little while, back in the day, when I lived in London I played football for Crystal Palace women's team.  I think back then they were called Palace Eagles Ladies Football Club, or something like that.  I had to retire because I got pregnant and it's really hard to run around a pitch for 90 minutes with a bun in the oven. 

I would rather have played for Chelsea!

So when we emigrated to California it was nice to find out women's football was really getting a stronghold in the USA.  The world cup had just been played in Los Angeles and women everywhere decided it was to be the game for them.  Leagues were popping up all over the place and I managed to get onto an "over 30's" women's league.  (Yes, it was an old broad's league)  The standard wasn't high, but I hadn't played for quite a few years, so it worked for me.

Everything was going well, we even won a few games.  Every Sunday afternoon I was 'off to the match' for a nice bit of exercise - and then it happened.

I came across the one bloody woman who decided American football should be introduced into the rules of the English game.  I was a right back (yes a 5'2" defender) and she decided she was going to be a quarterback or receiver (I had to ask what this position was called as I have no clue).  Anyway, there I was in front of goal, with her coming at me, full speed, trying to score.  I tackled her, got the ball and then I felt it, a full powered shoulder and elbow shove into my back.  I went up into the air, did a somewhat ungraceful backwards somersault (so I've been told) and landed fully and very heavily on my right shoulder with a resounding *CRACK*  Even the keeper said she heard it!

Oh the pain, the agony of a broken collar bone!  I'd never been in an ambulance before and that was the most painful ride I've ever taken - and quite expensive too.

I heard a few days later that that particular American football aficionado had complained to the ref when the game was abandoned because she didn't see why they couldn't keep on playing and just move me off the pitch. (Nice!) I decided right then I didn't particularly like that lady (for lady read "bitch").

I never did play again.  I decided I was a bit too, um, old and seeing as I wasn't actually getting paid to play, I should  hang up my boots.  (or cleats as they are inexplicably called in Americaland).
 

I then spent all my weekends ferrying my kids around southern California to their own football games.  And do you know what, not once did they find a child who thought they were playing American football.  At least the kids get it, kind of.