Showing posts with label backwards. Show all posts
Showing posts with label backwards. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Can I Have An "L" Please?

When I arrived in California, I was told I could only drive with my British license for ten days… yes 10 whole days.  I didn’t even have any hope of getting a car within ten days, let alone the savvy and knowledge to take the driving test.  I wasn’t exactly sure I actually wanted to drive, given the fact everything was backwards and I’m not very good at remembering my right from my left.  But this being California, there was absolutely no way I could possibly survive without a car, so I had to get on with it and take the plunge.  Now, I’m not that brilliant at taking tests and I am ashamed to say I had to take my driving test five times before I passed in England – and that was before the written part was introduced.  I put it down to the fact I had been practicing for so long I had picked up some really, really bad habits that the test examiners just did not appreciate.  *smile* 

Yes, I am a learner!
There is a written test in California, but after reading the test book/handout thingy the test was quite easy because it’s multiple choice!  Just choose the weirdest answer and you’ve got it (apparently).  You don’t have to study the Highway Code for six months here…heck, you don’t even have to know how to drive to take the written portion. 

Then came the actual driving test.  I remembered what it was like in England having had so many opportunities to take that damn test and I must say, I was a little nervous.  So there we were, sitting in the car and the examiner tells me the usual “We will drive and I will ask you to make turns and if I slap my board onto the dashboard you will do an emergency stop..blahdy, blahdy, blah..”  Pretty much the usual, I thought.  So off we went – out of the test centre, up the road, around the corner… emergency stop… U-turn and then…. Nothing!  Oh dear, I thought, I've failed (again).  But no, it was back to the test centre where he told me I passed.  Wait, what?  That was it?  No 3 point turn or reversing around a corner?  No pulling away on a hill?  This has got to have been the easiest driving test in the history of the world.  W.O.W.

Fast forward a few years and it was my daughter's turn. There's not an overabundance of driving schools here, so the teaching bit came down to me. This was all very well and good, but then I realized there are no such thing as "L" plates in the good old US of A. I'd already known how to drive, so the thought hadn't crossed my mind when I was taking my test. But oh no, here there is no way of knowing whether the person driving in front of you is actually behind the wheel for the very first time, or if they are just an idiot.  [and quite frankly, there are quite a few idiots out there]

So this leaves me a little confused.  America seems to mollycoddle their children until they are adults – They don’t leave school until they are (at least) 18 and then on to college where you are still regarded as a child until you are (at least) 24,  they can’t drink, do drugs, sex and rock and roll or vote until they are 21 and yet they are allowed to get behind the wheel of a car at the age of 15.5  They have pretty much no training and there is nothing to warn other drivers that they are a learner and possibly only began driving half an hour ago – and yet they are on the freeway! *shudder*

If there ever was a need for “L” Plates then it’s here – and not just the little red “L” we get in England.  I think there needs to be a huge fluorescent sign on the back of every car saying “Baby Driving” (which can be switched out for the ubiquitous “Baby on Board” sign that everyone believes they need until their 'baby' is 26).

 

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

The Beautiful Game


For a little while, back in the day, when I lived in London I played football for Crystal Palace women's team.  I think back then they were called Palace Eagles Ladies Football Club, or something like that.  I had to retire because I got pregnant and it's really hard to run around a pitch for 90 minutes with a bun in the oven. 
I would rather have played for Chelsea!
So when we emigrated to California it was nice to find out women's football was really getting a stronghold in the USA.  The world cup had just been played in Los Angeles and women everywhere decided it was to be the game for them.  Leagues were popping up all over the place and I managed to get onto an "over 30's" women's league.  (Yes, it was an old broad's league)  The standard wasn't high, but I hadn't played for quite a few years, so it worked for me.

Everything was going well, we even won a few games.  Every Sunday afternoon I was 'off to the match' for a nice bit of exercise - and then it happened.

I came across the one bloody woman who decided American football should be introduced into the rules of the English game.  I was a right back (yes a 5'2" defender) and she decided she was going to be a quarterback or receiver (I had to ask what this position was called as I have no clue).  Anyway, there I was in front of goal, with her coming at me, full speed, trying to score.  I tackled her, got the ball and then I felt it, a full powered shoulder and elbow shove into my back.  I went up into the air, did a somewhat ungraceful backwards somersault (so I've been told) and landed fully and very heavily on my right shoulder with a resounding *CRACK*  Even the keeper said she heard it!

Oh the pain, the agony of a broken collar bone!  I'd never been in an ambulance before and that was the most painful ride I've ever taken - and quite expensive too.

I heard a few days later that that particular American football aficionado had complained to the ref when the game was abandoned because she didn't see why they couldn't keep on playing and just move me off the pitch. (Nice!) I decided right then I didn't particularly like that lady (for lady read "bitch").

I never did play again.  I decided I was a bit too, um, old and seeing as I wasn't actually getting paid to play, I should  hang up my boots.  (or cleats as they are inexplicably called in Americaland).
 
I then spent all my weekends ferrying my kids around southern California to their own football games.  And do you know what, not once did they find a child who thought they were playing American football.  At least the kids get it, kind of.

Monday, March 10, 2014

5 Things that are Backwards in USA

When I moved here, I knew I was going to have to get used to differences.  I knew the USA drove on the wrong side of the road and the money was weird.  But there are some everyday things that make you go huh?

Driving

This was probably the one thing I knew would be so different and I was expecting it to be a challenge.  Backwards driving in a backwards car!  I’ve done a prior post about my driving experiences here. 

Hot/Cold Taps

Who knew this would be different?  The hot tap and the cold tap are switched.   In America, all the hot taps are on the left and cold on the right.  This was something I would have never thought about and I have spent many a wasted hour waiting for hot water to come through the cold tap, only to find out I’m using the wrong one.  It got to the stage that in one bathroom I used an eyeliner to write ‘H’ and ‘C’ on the wall above the taps.  That was a topic of conversation with visitors, I can tell you.

Light Switches

I don’t remember how many times I’ve walked into a room an tried to turn the lights on and nothing happened.  The switches are opposite to those in England – up for on, down for off.  Quite confusing.



English - On
American - Off
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Road Markings

This one continues to boggle me.  Everything is written backwards.  I was told it’s so you could read it at speed, but who reads upside down?  My brain cannot get around reading from the bottom up, so although I don’t have to say the words out loud, my mind still tells me to “Ahead Stop” or that there is a “Lane Bike.”




 
Written Dates

England, apparently, uses what the Americans call “Military” dates.  Where we write the dates with the day-month-year, it is totally backwards here.  I can’t remember how many times I have written my birthday as August 7th  instead of July 8th. 
Maybe I should just stick with it, after all it will make me a whole month younger!