Tuesday, March 29, 2016

British Television Phrases Americans Will Never Understand

There are a few phrases that practically every English person knows (and possibly loves) that tend to stick in your mind.  I have a few and they've nearly all come from adverts, or at least off the telly. Here's a few I use all the time.

I think we actually had this television.
That's Handy 'Arry

When something’s going brilliantly or you find something you’re looking for in the first place you look thats, well, handy.  I use this phrase all the time, mostly without even thinking about it.  The first couple of hundred times, the mister would look at me like I was mad, but it’s apparently made an impression because I’ve once or twice heard him mutter it too.  [Sometimes I even add the "stick it in the oven"]

Luvley Jubley

Ahh…. The immortal words of Del Boy.  I’m sure there’s nobody who hasn’t uttered this once in a while.  Luvley Jubbly just about sums up any brilliant moment.  In my case, this one usually refers to food.  I’m not sure if there is an American equivalent of this phrase – perhaps “Awesome” but that just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?  

Oh and obviously, you have to rub your hands together while saying it.

OooEee Mr. Shifter

I am ashamed to say that I have actually used this phrase a few times.  Funnily enough, it's generally when we're trying to get a particularly large item of furniture up the stairs.  [Sounds like we do that all the time, doesn't it? ... we don't]  I always tend to end up on the back end and panic when I think I'm going to be squished.

Can ya Ride Tandem?

These monkeys apparently made a great impression on my during my youth.  I have no idea why I say this, except maybe it's just funny, oh and the mister rides a bike.  Not a tandem, mind you, a bloomin' great Harley Davidson, so it just tickles me just a bit.

I know these two adverts aren't politically correct nowadays, what with all the animal rights activists and PETA, but you've got to admit that in their time they were brilliant.

Does anyone else have a long forgotten phrase they use frequently?  If so, remind us....

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Hello... It's Me

It’s been a while since I’ve actually posted a blog… and for anyone who cares – I’m sorry!!

You may have thought I was taking a sabbatical (which is basically a fancy word meaning I couldn’t be arsed to write anything) but that is definitely not the case.  I have, in fact, been terribly busy on other stuff.  Doesn’t that sound intriguing?

Well here goes – I’m only bloody getting married, aren’t I??  Yeah, yeah, we’ve been together for ages - years in fact, but I finally broke him down and he agreed to an actual wedding date.  I’m not really that Machiavellian of course, although he may feel he was duped into it.  [*sorry, babe*]  Let’s just say, the events leading up to it may feel like they had been planned, but truly, they weren’t.

So what have I been doing, you ask?  Well, let’s put it this way – I’ve never had a “proper” wedding before so this is all new to me.  My first disaster wedding was at the local registry office with a six month old baby on my hip and less than ten people there.  My wedding cake was a Black Forest Gateaux (yes, really)… and don’t even ask what I wore!  [I had to borrow money to buy it]  It was not my best day ever…

So discussing this one,  and it being a second marriage for the both of us, we decided we would do the most American thing we could (in my opinion anyway) – we’re getting married in Las Vegas!! Obviously, I have put my foot down and we most definitely will NOT be married by Elvis Presley, nor will it be in a drive-through wedding chapel.  I still have some class, you know. [*smirk*]  So the MGM Grand it is. (See, very classy!)
This is NOT happening
My first mistake (and there have been a few so far) is that I looked up a list of what you’re supposed to do to get ready for a wedding.  I signed up for a wedding planning website - Oh dear, I opened a flippin’ Pandora’s box which I have been trying to escape from for a month now.  There’s a “To Do” list which showed me I had about 100 items overdue.  Overdue?  Really, I only just decided to get married for goodness sake.  Well, apparently, these things are supposed to be planned years in advance.  Oh.

Ah, what the heck, I just ticked off stuff I wouldn’t be doing – you know, arranging travel for the guests and booking/paying for hotel rooms for everyone.  Who even does this?  As if weddings aren’t expensive enough as it is.  Oh, and jeepers, I’ve seen some women on the forums who are spending an absolute fortune and are whining about the smallest possible things.  Really, does it matter if your invitations were printed in an oh-so-slightly darker shade than you wanted?  [Apparently it really, really does].  

Then there’s a guest list creator.. who knew that would be so hard.  It’s Las Vegas so it should be a small wedding right?  Nope.  By the time you remember family and close friends and people you want in the wedding and people you should invite, but don’t really want to but you have to, and then other friends who you wouldn't say were 'close' but would be offended it they weren't invited, it all adds up**. For a little Las Vegas wedding, we are now up to about 50 people.  Not that big in the whole scheme of things, but I feel like I probably should have booked Westminster Abbey at this rate.

Westminster Abbey - I know I could fill it
Then there are “Save the Dates.”  Now I’m not sure if these are a specifically America thing, but I don’t remember ever, in my whole life, having received one in the mail.  But then again, it’s not as if I’m going to weddings every week either.  Although I hadn't really heard of them and seeing as I am now sucked into that wedding web, I decided to send them anyway, obviously.  Of course, being the cheapo I am, I made them myself, which may sound tacky, but I think I made a good job of them, even if I say so myself!  But now I’m confused because everyone who got one thinks it’s the actual invitation *sigh*

I really don’t know what the heck I’m doing…. So stay tuned as there will be a second installment to this wedding caper post.

** For any of my family and friends reading this, you are definitely NOT on either the 'don't want to invite' or  the 'would be offended list'  :-)