Thursday, July 3, 2014

A Perfectly Awkward English Moment

The other day I popped into the hairdressers for a bit of a trim and to touch up my highlights.

I probably should have begun to get worried when she got out the bleach and began smearing it all over my head.  It did look a little light and not at all like highlights.  “Oh,” she said “this colour is going to look sooo good on you.  It’s looking so pretty!”  By the time my hair had been washed, partially dried and then washed again I was beginning to be really worried.  Oh dear, what was this going to look like? 

Well, as soon as I got back into her chair and she took the towel off my head I found out.  “Don’t you love it?” she gushed.  And then the English kicked in “Ummm.. it’s a bit orange” I managed to mumble somewhat under my breath.  “I can put a darker wash on it if you like” says she.  “Oh no, it’s fine” I said in true British understated anger.  Oh yes, it was fine alright – if you wanted to look like a bloody ginger tom!
I look like this
And then we got to the “trim” which apparently means “Take off three inches” in American speak.  I wanted it back into the A-line bob I previously had – “but not too short” I said.  Well, now I have ginger hair and a haircut that looks like I’m in infants school.  A perfectly (kind of) straight bob, no A-line anywhere to be seen.  An orange bob no less!
I wanted to look like this (kind of)
Of course, I’m English so what did I do.  Oh, yes – I said “It’s lovely,” I paid (and left a hefty tip), went home and cried!

It’s not like I’m not going home for a couple of weeks and I have time (a) to get it re-cut and dyed into a better looking shape and colour (b) for it to grow out, (c) for it all to fall out, (d) to shave my head (well, I might have time for this one, but it's a bit drastic)

Oh no, I’m off to Blighty today and I have a birthday party planned with people I haven’t seen for years.  So, no problem there then!  And I’m sure everyone will say “It’s lovely”… they are all British, after all – don’t want to make a scene or upset anyone.

If I was more assertively American, the tip would have been (a) Wear a hat when it’s raining or (b) Don’t eat yellow snow.  But I’m not, and I didn’t and that’s it. 
I shall be taking the walk of shame at my own party!

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