The Blackcurrant Conspiracy

I recently read a news report which said Tesco was no longer going to carry Ribena because it had too much sugar.   Whaat?  Well, there’s my childhood memories ruined.  I loved Ribena, and in fact I still do.  Every time I go home I manage to smuggle import the biggest bottle I can in my suitcase. Looks like I will have to do my shopping elsewhere next time.

I admit I have never seen half of these

I was commenting on this to my colleagues and nobody, absolutely nobody, knew what Ribena was, obviously, but what was more surprising was they don’t even know what a blackcurrant is.  Okay, how can you possibly have never heard of a blackcurrant?

Yes, it's a blackcurrant

This got me curious so I googled did some research on why the humble blackcurrant is so illusive in the USA.  Here’s what I found out:

In 1705, Lord Weymouth shipped American ‘white pine’ seedlings to England and as the tree spread across Europe, blister rust disease began affecting them.  Unknown to the Americans who were suffering from depleted forests at that time, they began importing the seedlings back to the USA, which obviously brought the disease here, threatening the US Timber industry.  A fancy plant pathologist was called in who decided the disease did not jump from tree to tree, but instead went from tree to blackcurrant bush to the next tree.   [Talk about going around the houses!]

So they did what any reasonable person would do – they banned the farming and cultivation of blackcurrants, of course, and for over 100 years the poor little blackcurrant has been called the “forbidden fruit.”  No wonder nobody here’s ever heard of them.  

There have been a few states who have overturned the ban, but not enough of them so I can get my flippin' Ribena, unfortunately.  I think I am going to have to go on a one person crusade to get people to understand how brilliant blackcurrant is.  Or, next time I’m in Blighty, maybe I can find a bush and bring it back in my suitcase - "Nope, nothing illegal going on here officer".  I’m sure I could plant it in my garden (although I've never really had green fingers!)

Can I get them in my suitcase?

Now I’ve got myself all discombobulated, I went back to look at other news articles about the Tesco ban and it turns out they’ve actually only stopped selling the little lunchbox versions of the full sugar drink.  They will still be selling the big bottles (for adults) and "no sugar added" versions for kids. This is what happens when I get all my news from reading only the headlines…. ask anyone, I do it all the time!  

But who would have known that the blackcurrant would have been so vilified by America, bless!

Goodbye Cadbury, We Will Miss You!

Anyone who’s lived in America for a while, or even those that have been here on holiday and tried Hershey's chocolate will no doubt understand why us expats are getting all worked up over the lawsuit recently filed by Hershey to ban the import of British chocolate.  

Their reasoning?  They want to protect their copyright in the United States so consumers are not "confused or misled when they see a product name or product package that is confusingly similar to a Hershey name or trade dress."

Because these two are really confusing, aren’t they?

Apparently, it must be the colour of the packets, because I don't think there's any way, at all, that I could be confused about these two.  Not even if I was blindfolded and wearing boxing gloves!

And then, the most ridiculous of all, the Yorkie Bar and the York Peppermint Patty.  What the hell? These are so different, it's a joke.  It's the name, they say, it's too similar, they say.... so in general, American consumers can't read enough to be able to tell the different between Yorkie and York? Nice, Hersey, what a lovely way to treat your customers by insinuating they're all illiterate.

It started with the recipe change of Cadbury's Crème Eggs, making them taste gritty and bland (basically, just like Hershey chocolate).  They think we are just being typically picky expats when we complain about the bloody awful chocolate here.  And why wouldn’t we?  British made Cadbury’s Dairy Milk has a high fat content because the main ingredient is milk, leading to a nice creamy taste.  The main ingredient of the American version is sugar and some lovely Polyglycerol polyricinoleate and soy lecithin (yummy).  I think there might also be some sawdust and coal in there too, judging by the consistency. 

So what can we do about this?  Well, it might be a long fight, but the first thing would be to sign this petition:

PROTEST HERSHEY'S LAWSUIT AGAINST BRITISH CHOCOLATE

It's not just us expats who are taking this badly, Andrew Baker of The Times wrote:

"It will seem more likely to anyone who has ever tasted Hershey's own-brand products, and its approximations of Cadbury's, that they are instead preventing consumers from buying products which taste much better than Hershey's own," 

Oh, and then there's this:

DEFINITION OF "MONOPOLY"
A situation in which a single company or group owns all or nearly all of the market for a given type of product or service.  By definition, monopoly is characterized by an absence of competition, which often results in high prices and inferior products."   [http://www.investopedia.com]

So go and sign that petition now.  And a note to my family - get ready to fill your suitcases with Cadbury's chocolate next time you visit!