An Idiot's Guide to the Super Bowl

(Also known as 'What I Think I Know About American Football')

Recently we were sitting in a restaurant (bar) having lunch and obviously there were televisions all over the place showing American Football.  It was mentioned in passing that it was the playoffs and the winners would go to the Super Bowl.  Well, of course, I had to ask (bad decision - *kicks self*) how the playoffs and Super Bowl actually work as there’s no knock out competition from what I could see and from what I had heard, you just needed to win more games than everyone else to get to the final.

Apparently this ‘very old’ competition (yes, 49 whole years) [sarcasm intended] is played between two leagues or divisions, the East and West.

Now although these divisions have loads of teams, there is no opportunity for promotion or relegation.  You have the same teams in the league/division every year and no other teams ever get in.  The east and west divisions never play against each other.  You only ever play a team that is in your division and you can play them three or four times a season.  Oh, and there are no points i.e 3 for a win or 1 for a draw – actually, I don’t think there are ever any draws either.

Somehow, a team in the east wins more games than everyone else and goes to the Super Bowl to play the team from the west who has also won more games.  I think…. Because by about this time I was nodding off into my margarita.

When the two teams meet in the final, it’s a big deal.  Super Bowl parties are BIG – it seems like everyone has one and the thing is, you have to watch the flamin’ game, it’s not a party at all. Although everyone seems to get more excited about the adverts (there are loads) which have been made specially to be shown during the game.  Ah yes, and Super Bowl themed food, there's a lot of that too.

A little over the top

When you win the Super Bowl, you don’t win an actual “bowl” you win a thing that looks like an American football (or even a rugby ball for that matter) on a post, oh and a ring. Americans have a weird fascination with rings, you can even get a “class” ring from your school when you graduate (well, only if you want to pay the $200 or so for it) and this is boys, as well as girls.  I think there are rings for other sporting events too, basketball comes to mind, but I could be totally wrong.  But the Super Bowl does get you a ring and not some nice little memento, but a humongous bloody thing that is so ugly you wonder why anyone in their right mind would even want to wear it.

Ugly, Gaudy, Big

Not a Bowl



I’ve tried, but I just don’t see the fun in it all.  Most people don’t have a home team they support through good and bad, thick and thin (and over land and sea – and if you understand that bit, I like you) and you don't get that excitement of waiting for your team’s number to be pulled out of the hat to see who you will play in the next round [and ultimately having to slog your way to a snow bound non-league ground with no seats]. 

But I digress.

The Super Bowl will be upon us any day now and I couldn’t tell you where it’s being played or who’s in it and I’m going to do my best to skip any “party” I might be invited to.  You can only drink so much, you know, to relieve the boredom!   So I say 'Cheers' and here’s to the FA Cup!!

I'm sure I've offended at least a few people with this post and my explanation may be extremely wrong, but this is just the gist I get from listening to the endless Monday morning talk.   *yawn*