Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Medieval Madness

I did something this weekend that I had vowed never, ever to do, ever again…. I went to a Renaissance Faire.  Although to be fair (hah), this was a little local fair(e) and not the super dooper, massively entertaining (read "commercial") event that is the Southern California Renaissance Festival which is held every year.

NOTE:  I bet you are reading that as Ren-ay-sance, but this is Americaland where it's pronounced Ren-er-sonse and Medi-eval is pronounced Mud-evil. I know, weird and a bit annoying.

I’ve often wondered why these are even a thing.  I mean, England lived through the Renaissance and if they don’t feel the need to celebrate, so why then, does America think they need to.  It boggles the mind… The Renaissance was a cultural movement all about a new beginning with views on philosophy, science, literature, politics, music and religion becoming more diverse and was “a bridge between the Middle Ages and Modern History” [That is your history lesson for today].  It most certainly wasn’t a commercial venture where you go to get drunk, eat massive turkey legs and dress in olden days clothes.

The main reason we ventured there this weekend was the weather.  The temperature at our house was around one billion degrees and this Faire was in the Big Bear mountains which, we hoped, would be slightly cooler than Hades.  
Ahhh... the coolness of the mountains
So with no further ado, I present for thy consideration some of the costumes (did you see what I did there?)

The Braveheart

Now don't get me wrong, he's looking a bit Scottish, what with his kilt and all, and when he turned around he did, in fact, have one side of his face painted blue, but what's up with those dreadlocks?   This was the worst impression of Mel Gibson I've seen in quite a while.

The Chinese/Oriental Belly Dancers

I have absolutely no idea what's happening here.  I don't know when belly dancers were part of the Renaissance, or any English history for that matter.  But at least they've got nice umbrellas.

Little Red Riding Hood

And her friend.  I have no idea....

Pirates/Wenches and Um... Captain Jack Sparrow

I know people just like to dress up (apparently), but this is the Renaissance people, the Renaissance. I don't think Captain Jack was around, or any other pirate if truth be told.

Fairies and Dragons

Although absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with any kind of Renaissance, there were fairies [or faeries as they tended to spell it] and dragons.  I think some people were confused with Dungeons and Dragons. Oopsie.  Although, in all honesty, the 'fairy' with the bubbles was quite entertaining and the dragon was animated and a bit fun.

Whatever This is...

Ummm... isn't this a Roman Centurian?  I think the costume was not chosen for its authenticity, but rather to display the steroids, fake tan and veiny muscles.(eew)  And you've just got to love the cowboy on his motorized chair.

Ahh… and the food, of course.  Nothing particularly English, but I opted for a “pig on a stick” which for only $5.00 I assumed was going to be an awful hotdog on a stick, but I was actually pleasantly surprised when I got a huge pork chop in sauce.  In fact, I was so surprised I forgot to take a photo – just trust me though, it was very nice.  The people at The Boars Head Feaste were also very nice. Spot the extra “e”, which makes everything old-English-y.  So does “Ye” before everything, even ice, apparently.

It's oldey woldey
All in all it was quite a nice day actually.  Probably because it was such a small fair(e) and there was none of that awkwardness of people talking to you in what they assume is old time Medieval language and accents (thank goodness) because the one thing that’s even worse than having an American try to do an English accent, is an American trying to do a Medieval English accent.

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