Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The American Bath

Yesterday I had a little time to myself so I thought I would give myself a bit of a pamper.  It had been a while so I thought I would have a nice soak in the bath and do a facepack and all the girly stuff I don't usually do.

So I ran the bath got everything ready jumped in ... and then out again because it was too hot [isn't it always?] After running another couple of gallons of cold water, I sat myself down stretched out and this happened:

I have one question for America, the land of bigger is better. What the bloody hell happened to your baths?? Really?  I'm only 5 feet 2 and I can't lie down without my knees touching my chin!!  

To add insult to injury I turned around and saw this: 

The bath is so low, I thought Spencer was about to join me.  So much for my hour of pampering.  Its worse than having kids - at least you can tell them to bugger off out and close the door.

Yes, I did have my phone with me because as anyone knows, the minute you step in the bath the phone rings.

Also, it was not easy to get my hair washed in that tiny little tub so I gave up and went in the shower!

Oh, how I miss my English bath that was so long I practically had to drown myself to put my feet on the end and it was so deep I could barely rest my elbows on the edges without looking like I was trying to fly.  Ahhh... 

But then I remembered how flipping cold it was when you got out and tried to get dry and dressed before frost bite set in, especially in October.  That's when I decided I would stick with the American shower.

It's not like this was the first time I had ever been in an American bath, but it's been such a long time and it looked all neglected and lonely sitting in the corner.  I had just forgotten just how flaming small they were.  

Apparently countries have different priorities.  In England its all about depth with long, skinny and deep baths and in America its about width with short, wide and shallow baths.  [I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere]

Still have no idea why those things are so small though.

This is what it felt like.


  1. As you say, the bath must be the only thing that is smaller in America. Oh, and annual holiday allowance. And maternity leave. Anything else?

    1. Fresh vegetables (or pro-doose as they like to say). Try finding a swede at Christmas that's big enough to feed one person, let alone a family - I have to buy about 8 of the buggers and they're so hard to cut I'm beginning to think its not worth it. But then it wouldn't be Christmas. Although on the other hand, brussels are the size of cabbages. I just don't understand.

  2. Their teabags. Very small.

    Their tolerance for incorrectly filled out paperwork.

    Oh, and their food portions.


    1. Wait... you're actually DRINKING American tea??? say it's not so. That stuff's like pee water.

  3. Bath!!! who the hell takes a bath these days in the USA, sitting there in your own muck & soap scum, that's positively Victorian!, I have lived in the US for 35 years & I cannot remember ever taking a bath, a Jacuzzi yes, a Sauna yes, but a bath, naw, brings back bad memories of staying at my Grandmas house, all water was heated on her gas stove & poured into a tin bath on her kitchen floor, my Dad got it first, me second & my little brother last (all the same water).

    1. As I said, this was my first attempt at a bath for years… which didn’t quite go to plan anyway and I ended up in the shower. It just sounded so, well, romantic and relaxing. But obviously that wasn’t the case and it won’t be repeated any time soon!!

  4. I just had the same experience staying in a hotel in Tahoe. After a day on the slopes, I felt like my innards would never warm up so decided to have a nice soak. I'd already noticed the bath looked oddly shallow but it was only once I was sat in it that I noticed just how absurd it was. I tried to fill it as much as I could but the overflow-prevention thingy meant I could only get within 2.5" of the top.. I could either sit upright and get my legs (almost) covered or I could slouch down and cross my legs in an uncomfortable attempt to get some of my body in the water.

    Like you pointed out, in America of all places, I'd expect baths to be luxuriously deep and wide but this was like sitting in a sink. To anyone saying "oh but you're sitting in your own filth".. don't have a bath, then!. Personally, I like an occasional long soak and I tend to rinse off quickly afterwards anyway.

    Not everyone likes a bath but if you're going to provide one then make it usable. Do it properly or not at all!