Undertaking, Overtaking - The Freeway Free-For-All

I’ve been reading with interest posts by my blog mate ukdesperatehousewifeusa about undertaking. Now, until she had mentioned it a couple of months ago in this post, I had never heard of it.  Reading her heading, I thought someone had died!  But no, that’s not the case.  Undertaking is basically the act of overtaking in the slow lane.  

She lives in the east coast and I’m thinking the roads are a tad smaller there than here in California, where freeways have five, six or sometimes seven lanes – each one of them choc-a-block full of cars. And there’s usually that idiot (or old fart) who wants to drive at 50 mph in the “fast’ lane.  Those people drive me nuts!  The only thing to do is go around on the right….

And here’s my secret – I love it!  

Yes, I love the fact that you can go around all those people driving too slowly (or what I presume to be too slowly). I have been told I've got a lead foot, which in English means I am a bit of a girl racer. I must admit though, it’s a bit like Wacky Races sometimes what with everyone having a free-for-all on the freeway.  I don't break laws, it's just so much more convenient to be able to go around on either side.

The freeway free-for-all

Look at me getting all sciency... yes, I know it's DNA, not the freeway, but it looks just the same sometimes.

I’m sure if I lived in a different state it wouldn’t be the same.  I wouldn’t undertake in London, so I’m not sure I would do it in New York either.  It's just how the roads are here and I was told, long ago when I started driving here, to never drive in the slow, or far right, lane because you will have more chance of getting hit by cars entering and exiting the freeway.  

Oh, and if there happen to be any California Highway Patrol reading this, um… I don’t speed, per se, I just like to get through traffic.  No need to hunt me down and give me a ticket  *sheepish grin*

Hope he's not pointing at me!

Can I Have An "L" Please?

When I arrived in California, I was told I could only drive with my British license for ten days… yes 10 whole days.  I didn’t even have any hope of getting a car within ten days, let alone the savvy and knowledge to take the driving test.  I wasn’t exactly sure I actually wanted to drive, given the fact everything was backwards and I’m not very good at remembering my right from my left.  But this being California, there was absolutely no way I could possibly survive without a car, so I had to get on with it and take the plunge.  Now, I’m not that brilliant at taking tests and I am ashamed to say I had to take my driving test five times before I passed in England – and that was before the written part was introduced.  I put it down to the fact I had been practicing for so long I had picked up some really, really bad habits that the test examiners just did not appreciate.  *smile* 

Yes, I am a learner!

There is a written test in California, but after reading the test book/handout thingy the test was quite easy because it’s multiple choice!  Just choose the weirdest answer and you’ve got it (apparently).  You don’t have to study the Highway Code for six months here…heck, you don’t even have to know how to drive to take the written portion. 

Then came the actual driving test.  I remembered what it was like in England having had so many opportunities to take that damn test and I must say, I was a little nervous.  So there we were, sitting in the car and the examiner tells me the usual “We will drive and I will ask you to make turns and if I slap my board onto the dashboard you will do an emergency stop..blahdy, blahdy, blah..”  Pretty much the usual, I thought.  So off we went – out of the test centre, up the road, around the corner… emergency stop… U-turn and then…. Nothing!  Oh dear, I thought, I've failed (again).  But no, it was back to the test centre where he told me I passed.  Wait, what?  That was it?  No 3 point turn or reversing around a corner?  No pulling away on a hill?  This has got to have been the easiest driving test in the history of the world.  W.O.W.

Fast forward a few years and it was my daughter's turn. There's not an overabundance of driving schools here, so the teaching bit came down to me. This was all very well and good, but then I realized there are no such thing as "L" plates in the good old US of A. I'd already known how to drive, so the thought hadn't crossed my mind when I was taking my test. But oh no, here there is no way of knowing whether the person driving in front of you is actually behind the wheel for the very first time, or if they are just an idiot.  [and quite frankly, there are quite a few idiots out there]

So this leaves me a little confused.  America seems to mollycoddle their children until they are adults – They don’t leave school until they are (at least) 18 and then on to college where you are still regarded as a child until you are (at least) 24,  they can’t drink, do drugs, sex and rock and roll or vote until they are 21 and yet they are allowed to get behind the wheel of a car at the age of 15.5  They have pretty much no training and there is nothing to warn other drivers that they are a learner and possibly only began driving half an hour ago – and yet they are on the freeway! *shudder*

If there ever was a need for “L” Plates then it’s here – and not just the little red “L” we get in England.  I think there needs to be a huge fluorescent sign on the back of every car saying “Baby Driving” (which can be switched out for the ubiquitous “Baby on Board” sign that everyone believes they need until their 'baby' is 26).

 

The Two Fingered Salute

Being English I do love a good hand gesture. 

 

Unfortunately most of them don’t translate over the pond.  On a few occasions, I have given other drivers the fist shaking, circled thumb and forefinger sign (known as the ‘tosser’ or ‘wanker’ sign anywhere in Britain).  This rarely gets a reaction from an American driver – they just think you are shaking your fist at them.  I tried to elaborate by sticking my tongue in my cheek at the same time, but that just makes me look strange and feel a bit stupid, if truth be known.

I have now taken to using the middle finger or “flipping the bird” as it’s called.  I have no idea why it’s called the bird – I have done extensive research (i.e. I Googled it) and couldn’t find any answers.  It’s supposed to represent a phallus, so the bird doesn’t make sense to me.  But that gesture is now my go-to hand signal while driving.  Not that I’m driving and flipping people off all the time, but there are moments when you just need to express your opinion or distaste for others' driving habits.

 

People who know I’m English do still get the ‘V’ sign.  It’s so much nicer than that solitary middle finger.  And it has a great history.  Also known as “the two fingered salute,” “The Longbowman Salute,” “The Agincourt Salute,” “the Rods” or a number of other names, it's believed to have originated during the Hundred Years War at the Battle of Agincourt when the longbowmen used the gesture towards the French, showing they still had their bow fingers and could still shoot arrows.  It is said the French would cut those fingers off any captured Brits.   This may not actually be true, but in good English tradition, it sounds brilliant so we’re keeping the story.

Oops Mr. Churchill - wrong way round!

It just feels so nice to shake the good old ‘V’ sign with both hands now and then that I just don’t want to give it up.  So whether anyone understands it or not, I won’t stop!

5 Things that are Backwards in USA

When I moved here, I knew I was going to have to get used to differences.  I knew the USA drove on the wrong side of the road and the money was weird.  But there are some everyday things that make you go huh?

Driving

This was probably the one thing I knew would be so different and I was expecting it to be a challenge.  Backwards driving in a backwards car!  I’ve done a prior post about my driving experiences here. 

Hot/Cold Taps

Who knew this would be different?  The hot tap and the cold tap are switched.   In America, all the hot taps are on the left and cold on the right.  This was something I would have never thought about and I have spent many a wasted hour waiting for hot water to come through the cold tap, only to find out I’m using the wrong one.  It got to the stage that in one bathroom I used an eyeliner to write ‘H’ and ‘C’ on the wall above the taps.  That was a topic of conversation with visitors, I can tell you.

Light Switches

I don’t remember how many times I’ve walked into a room an tried to turn the lights on and nothing happened.  The switches are opposite to those in England – up for on, down for off.  Quite confusing.




English - On

American - Off

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Road Markings

This one continues to boggle me.  Everything is written backwards.  I was told it’s so you could read it at speed, but who reads upside down?  My brain cannot get around reading from the bottom up, so although I don’t have to say the words out loud, my mind still tells me to “Ahead Stop” or that there is a “Lane Bike.”

 

Written Dates

England, apparently, uses what the Americans call “Military” dates.  Where we write the dates with the day-month-year, it is totally backwards here.  I can’t remember how many times I have written my birthday as August 7^th  instead of July 8^th. 

Maybe I should just stick with it, after all it will make me a whole month younger! 
 

Nice Weather for Ducks

Rain… it’s piddling down, it’s raining cats and dogs, it’s drizzling, pouring, bucketing down, pissing down, spitting… I think us English have about the same amount of words for rain as Eskimos have for snow.  But then we are used to the rain, it’s a way of life for us.  It could be lovely when you leave home, but you better take your brolly as it could tip down any minute.  Arrange a BBQ?  Better make alternative plans – just in case.

So when it comes to rain anywhere else, it’s quite funny to see the reaction, especially in sunny southern California.  Oh dear – it’s a disaster – Storm Watch 2014!!

I’m driving on the freeway, well not actually driving, just basically sitting because it’s raining.  No, not pouring, not piddling, not even spitting, it’s just a little bit of hazy, drizzling rain and the freeway has ground to a halt!  I know California is the land of never ending sunshine, but really.  The tiniest little drop of rain and every head automatically goes up a bum.  There are two classes of people – the “Oh no, I must drive really, really slowly in case I have an accident” and then there’s the “Oh, I better drive really, really fast because I’m a California speed racer and I know how to drive in the rain.”  WRONG!  And accidents abound.

Tsk, tsk California.  I would really like to see how all these people would cope having to stand at a bus stop for 30 minutes in the rain, getting soaked to the skin.  We do it, we have to and we all complain about the weather, we are English after all – it’s a national pastime.  But of course we do have that stiff upper lip which prevents us from being too outspoken.  We just mumble “bloody weather” and get on with it.

But I do have one question.  When did rain change it’s name?  Why is it that every weather forecaster now calls rain “precipitation?”  “There’s a bit of precipitation coming in the next few days…”  Is it supposed to make us feel better, give us a sense of security that actually, you don’t have to be an idiot on the freeway because it’s precipitation and not the dreaded R word…. R-A-I-N!

Where I come from, rain is rain!  No fancy names, just Rain!