Thursday, April 17, 2014

Gun Culture - It's Not for Me.

“Can you bring my gun down from upstairs” Dave asked me the other day.  That was a question I would have never thought I would hear in my life.  But this is America where everybody has guns, everybody.

I stood there, looking at the thing, trying to figure out how to hold it.  I wasn’t sure which end I should grab.  Should I hold it on the end the bullets come out of, or should I hold it by the handle?  What happened if I held it too tightly and accidentally pulled the trigger and inadvertently blew my foot off?  But then, I didn’t want to hold it so lightly in case I dropped it - and inadvertently blew my foot off.  What a dilemma.

I opted for the handle end, between my thumb and forefinger, just kind of hanging there, held out in front of me.  In hindsight, this was probably the most likely way for me to blow a hole in myself.  Dave stood, open mouthed, as I came down the stairs.  “It won’t kill you” he said.  Well, actually,  I think it probably would, to tell you the truth!!!

It was a very creepy kind of feeling to actually hold a gun.  Bloody Hell, nobody in England has guns, not even the Police.  They have to make do with a truncheon a.k.a. a big stick and a whistle.  Okay, maybe the whistle is a thing of the past, but you get it.  I think some police might be carrying guns now, but the normal person on the street really doesn’t have a need to have one.  Unless you are a Kray twin, obviously.  But then, they weren't exactly what you would call 'normal.'
The infamous Kray twins
Great White Hunter
But America seems to be the land of the brave, the land of the Great White Hunter where it is positively frowned upon or you’re a thought to be a tad odd if you don’t have a gun.  I’m not going to get into the politics of the gun debate, but I will just say that I think I will refrain from getting myself a gun, unless I happen to find myself somewhere in the Serengeti chasing a lion, and then perhaps I might borrow one (or just let someone else do the shooting).
Until then, I will make do with my whistle.
This will work.. right??

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