What is a Crumpet?

How do you describe a crumpet?  I’ve been asked what a crumpet is so often and it really is one of those questions I can never answer – a bit like “what does Marmite taste like?”  It’s one of those things you know, but there are no words to adequately describe it.

What do we know about crumpets?  Well, they’re round with a flat bottom and holes on the top.  You eat them with butter and sometimes in our house we would have them with baked beans and scrambled eggs on top - kind of like a toast substitute.  They’re not sweet, but they’re not particularly savoury either.  You can eat them for breakfast and for tea.  Confused? Yes, and so is everybody I try and describe them to.

So I did what any sane person would do – I Googled it.

Wikipedia says:

“English crumpets are generally circular roughly 8 cm (3") in diameter and 2 cm (0.8") thick.

Their shape comes from being restrained in the pan/griddle by a shallow ring. They have a

characteristic flat top with many small pores and a chewy and spongy texture. They may be 

cooked until ready to eat warm from the pan, but are frequently left slightly undercooked so 

that they may be cooled and stored before being eaten freshly toasted. They are often eaten

with a spread of butter or some alternative spread on the top of them, such as jam, honey or

yeast extract.”

So there you go then, or not…  

Crumpet

Not a crumpet

The next question is usually “Oh, so it’s like an English Muffin then?”  Well, no actually.  An English Muffin is not even a thing in England.  They were invented in America around 1880 by a Samuel Thomas (aka Thomas’ English Muffins), a Brit who moved to America and opened a bakery. Maybe that’s where the “English” in English muffin came from.  I had actually never eaten or even heard of an English Muffin until I moved here.

Muffins are kind of bready, and crumpets are certainly not, they are kind of rubbery, if truth be told. A bit more research (umm, googling) led me to this:

• Crumpets are always made with milk, but English muffins are not
• Crumpets are made of batter; English muffins are made from a firm dough.
• Crumpets are made using baking soda; English muffins are made with yeast
• Crumpets are cooked only on one side (presumably when you’re making them, ‘cos I always put them in the toaster and that would mean both sides are cooked); English muffins are toasted on both sides
• Crumpets are served whole; English muffins are split before serving

So there you have it, the definitive definition of crumpets. (*sigh*)

I think I will just start carrying a picture of each one around so I don’t have to explain.  But then I would probably be asked what they tasted like.  I would just say “Bloody marvelous!”

Then I would hope nobody asks what a "nice bit of crumpet" is, because that would open a whole other conversation.

A Crisp Sandwich - Yes Please!

Crisp Sandwich Shop Sells Out in TWO Hours

So the crisp sandwich restaurant which opened Monday was a complete sell out in the first two hours.

Is it only me, or is anyone else not surprised by this?

In my opinion, crisp sarnies are the very best thing since, well sliced bread.  Thank goodness for John Montague, the 4th Earl of Sandwich (13 Nov. 1718 - 30 Apr. 1792) for his most fabulous invention way back in the 1700’s [Wikipedia].

Growing up, it didn’t matter what we had for tea, if there was bread you made yourself a sandwich from the bit of food you had left especially.  I think this was a requirement of British childhood.  It was the only thing to do whether you were eating fish fingers, chips and peas (a favourite in our house), egg and chips or even spaghetti Bolognese (when it was a fancy day) – they all went in between two slices of bread and butter.  Mashed potato and gravy was also a favourite of mine and who, tell me, has never had a chip butty?

But the crisp sandwich has got to be up there in the top ten.  Here’s mine (but not necessarily in top ten order)

Ham and Marmite – Back in the day, I used to sell programmes on a Saturday at Chelsea Football Club and had to be there early so wouldn’t get time for lunch.  Every week, without fail, I would pack myself a ham and Marmite and a mini pork pie.  Whenever I eat one now (minus the pork pie, of course as I can’t get them here) it takes me right back to Victoria Tube Station – ‘cos I could never wait until lunch time.

Needs a bit of ham (and a pork pie)

Fried Egg – My aunt was famous for her doorstep fried egg sandwiches.  I used to love going to see her as she would always ask if we wanted one.  Very, very thick freshly sliced bread and a lovely runny egg yolk.

Doorstep Fish Fingers - but imagine it with a runny egg!!

Chips – The ubiquitous chip butty.  Slathered with tomato sauce and lashings of vinegar.  Made even better if you have some fried egg to dip it in.

Crisps -  If you need a snack which is a little more than a bag of crisps, out comes the bread.  It doesn’t really matter what flavor, but ready salted and cheese and onion are my go-to’s.

Sausages – More than likely this would be for breakfast, with loads of tomato sauce.  Yum!  (Wish I could get some Wall’s Prime Porkie Workies here)

Bacon – Again for breakfast.  The only problem living in America is that the bacon is bloody awful. When it’s cooked right, it’s hard and crispy – basically overcook streaky bacon.  Not too good for a sandwich, if you ask me.  Although tomato sauce does a lot to disguise this fact.

Piccalilli on Toast – Although not a sandwich, I love this.  I first got the idea years ago when a cousin of mine was pregnant and this was one of her cravings.  I don’t know about her, but I’ve been eating it ever since.  The same goes for tomato sauce on toast.  Yum!

Possibly a bit too much Piccalilli

Paté and Pickled Onions – This is also something I liked to eat on toast.  I remember I would come home from school and be starving and as my mum was usually still at work, secretly I had the run of the fridge and larder.  I had to be careful what I would eat so I wasn’t found out. One day, this combination just happened and it was the most wonderful thing ever.  It’s funny how we always had paté in the fridge, you hardly ever see it here.  Oh and I hope my mum’s not reading this and has just found out what happened to all the pickled onions.

Needs pickled onions

Cheese and Tomato – I’m not really a cheese kind of person, but there is one time that really sticks out in my memory.  We were at the seaside and we went to a small café to have a cuppa and a sandwich.  My mum chose cheese and tomato and that particular sandwich had been sitting wrapped in clingfilm for quite a while.  The tomato was warm and had bled into the cheese, which was slightly soggy and the whole thing had a mild plasticky taste – and it was wonderful.  Needless to say, this is the only way I will each cheese sandwiches now.  My sandwich has to be left out for a while to get to room temperature..  In fact, if I’m having one, I will always make it ahead of time so it’s warmed up a bit. I know, it sounds absolutely terrible, but I’m a bit weird, I think.  *Smiles*

Now my taste buds are tingling and my mouth is watering looking at all these lovely sandwiches - and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do right now for a pork pie!  Oh how I miss those gorgeous little packets of meaty goodness!

What’s your favourite sandwich and how weird do you get?

Mother's Day - Brit Style

Yesterday was Mother’s Day in the US.  Once again, I totally missed the English Mother’s Day because there is nowhere at all in America that you can buy a mother’s day card in March.  Usually, the shops are so way ahead of every holiday, that it seems a bit weird that Mother’s Day cards are not on sale in January (I’ve seen Easter eggs in January and Halloween costumes in July).  Then again, it might be that I didn’t actually go out of my way to look for one in time for the English day.  Oopsie!

But yesterday, I spent the day with my daughter who had, unknown to me, booked reservations at the Palihouse for their Brit Brunch. 

I thought I would review it, for any Brits that are looking for somewhere "like home."

Their building is in a quiet road in West Hollywood and we found parking really easily.  In fact, we were right outside the front door – how often does that happen in Los Angeles??  Gold star number one!!  The outside courtyard dining is so bright and airy and just wonderful looking.  There were a couple of tables in full sun which is actually quite nice if you are a sun loving Brit.  J

Ahh… the menu….

Just like mum used to make

• Scones
• Sausage Rolls
• Welsh Rarebit
• Scotch Eggs
• Fish and Chips
• Bangers and Mash

And more….. oh, the decisions!!

We wanted it all.  There was a family at a table close to us who ordered, from what we could tell, practically everything on the menu.  Oh, if only our stomachs were big enough to fit it all in.

Of course, we had to start with a couple of drinky-poos.  Not one to miss an opportunity to look a bit posh, I had a Pimm’s Cup.  Hannah had a Morning Sun, which she said was just lovely (dahhling!)

Fancy Drinks

For starters we had the sausage rolls.  The pastry melted in your mouth and tasted exactly like home.  Warm sausage rolls dipped in tomato sauce - Mmmmm.  She then opted for the Full Monty which, of course, was the full English breakfast.  It even included a bit of black pudding.  I have apparently not done my proper job as a mum because she didn’t know what black pudding was.  I made her try it and give her opinion before I told her what was in it.  I was expecting a bit of trouble getting her to try it when she said “You’re going to tell me it’s a nasty bit of the animal, aren’t you?”  Of course not, I said!!  [Does that make me a bad mother?]  Well, she tried it and lo and behold she liked it!!  Although apparently not enough to finish it once I had told her it was, in fact, blood pudding.  (*smile*)

  

Yes, that is black pudding next to the eggs!

I had the bangers and mash.  A wonderful  pile of mashed potatoes and sausages absolutely covered in onion gravy.  The gravy was so rich and so very decadent that I couldn’t manage to finish it all.  Needless to say, we didn’t order pudding!  (I really wanted to try the Eaton Mess, meringue and berries, but just did not have enough room).

The waiters/waitresses were brilliant and kept asking if the Englishness was good enough and if it reminded us of home.  How could we possibly complain??  We were stuffed to the gills and could hardly move, but still wanted more!  Not a pretty sight actually.

As we waddled back to the car we both decided this was one of our best 'go-to' places and we would definitely be back.  Of course, we have to try everything on that menu sooner or later.  I would even make the hour journey to LA from my house just for the sausage rolls.  Hmmm... I wonder if they deliver??

If there’s anyone in LA who doesn’t know about this little British gem, here’s a link : http://www.palihousewesthollywood.com/

Oh, and by the way, this is not a paid review (but if I could get some sausage rolls sent my way I would absolutely accept them)  *Grin*

A Full English?

So I posted this photo on Facebook yesterday because I was so pleased to have found 'almost' English bacon and I got some of the weirdest comments from American friends.

Mmm.. look at those lovely eggs and is that British bacon?

One of those comments was "'Beans and eggs together? that's an interesting combo. It's not something I would have thought of" ... and I was actually really confused and I don't get it. Why wouldn't you have beans and eggs? Is there something terrible about having baked beans and eggs together? I don't understand the need to have even thought about it - it's just natural.   Go ahead, if you’re English and reading this – what would you have thought of that question?  I bet you’ve never questioned it either.

 

A full English breakfast is eggs, bacon, sausage, mushroom, tomato and fried slice, with some variations depending on what you have in the fridge at that time. I don't like fried tomatoes, so beans are my thing.

 

Another comment (from a Brit, of course) was "Peanut butter and jam – that's a weird combination!" And I agree!  Oh, and putting pancakes and syrup on the same plate as your eggs and bacon - now that's very weird!  And being expected to use the same knife and fork for it, ugh.  Sweet and savoury should not be mixed on the same plate.

 

I’m sure we just grow up and get used to what we are given to eat, but who decided that breakfast needed a pudding?  Why does bacon and eggs always come with pancakes?

 

Then came the questions from the Brits –

• where’s the sausages and black pudding?
• where’s the mushrooms?
• where’s the fried tomatoes?
• where’s the HP sauce?
• where’s the fried bread?

Come on now – I’ve been here 20 years and only just found something that could be called “English” bacon.  Give me a chance already!  J